Hi, I'm Ella. This seems like a good place to start my blog. I'm actually sitting here writing this in 2017, not 2012 as the date on the post says. I back-date all my posts so they occur around the time that the actual events happened so you have a realistic perception on time-scales. The last thing I want you to believe is that I'm constantly off travelling. No, there are intervals between each trip and I believe it's essential that you know this. You see, I want to be as honest with you guys as possible. Not going to lie but I get sad and a little unsatisfied with my life when I see people on social media constantly on holiday. I look at my life and think, damn, why can't I travel like that all the time? Queue sadness and despair. That's no good for anyone and certainly doesn't inspire people.
I want to inspire you. To me, my life is pretty normal and nothing that I do is out of reach for anyone. I'm just a regular girl with a lot of ambition to travel the world one day. My goal is for you to read my story and (hopefully) see me progress in my dream and make them become a reality. That's pretty inspiring.
Anyway enough rambling; I'm no going to go back in time to a 17-year-old me in February 2012. I still have a year and a half of school left and have exams coming up after the Easter holidays. I'm actually due to go away in Easter which may not bode well in terms of what results I was going to get (spoiler: it really didn't!). I'm your average teenager who hates school and spends all day daydreaming of what I want to do with my life and surprise, surprise I don't want to do anything 'normal'.
Since I was very little I wanted to (in my own words) "be a TV Presenter on Animal Planet". That was a pretty specific dream of mine. The reason behind this was because I wanted to be a TV Presenter but I specifically wanted to work with animals and not just any animals. In my head, I imagined myself off in the African bush filming a leopard whilst narrating and presenting the footage.
Being a moody teenager, I temporarily lost sight of this dream and found myself instead spending hours in my room writing books and editing videos, stuff which I thoroughly loved doing but were more hobbies. The closest I came to fulfilling this TV Presenter dream was a few years ago when I used to film my cats in the garden and talk excitedly over the footage, believing I was a female David Attenborough with loads of potential. In my head I saw it was practice for the real thing. I cringe a little when I look back over the footage now but at the time I really didn't care what people thought of me. I was doing what I loved and at the end of the day, isn't that what matters?
I think school and society help you lose your way. I started to think I was weird and that I didn't fit in. Soon I was obsessed with fitting in but somehow never became able to. I'd already spent the first 2 years of high school being me and doing what I wanted, so much so that I became labelled as 'un-cool' and no matter what I did, I was never able to shake that stigma. In year 9 people started having parties with drink and boys and I was never invited. I yearned to be invited but it never happened. I was just too 'different'.
The next few years were really rough for me. I stopped making my cat videos and started writing novels that reflected how I felt inside. They were dark and tragic but still based on animals. I started making videos to music and pouring my heart out into them. These were my outlets and the only things that helped me through my school years.
It was only last summer (summer 2011) that things started to change. I finally settled into a friendship group I was happy with and started to come out of my shell. My friends were amazing. We went out and partied together quite frequently. I also had lots of friends out side of school and with them, I was popular. My life was starting to come together more.
I know it feels like I'm rambling a bit but I want you to know the real me. I'm determined to be as honest as I possibly can on this blog. So, my new journey starts here - February 2012. I have an exciting holiday booked for April and then another in the summer. I'm starting to push myself out of my comfort zone and fight for my dreams once again. I only have a year and a half left and then I'm free from school and the labelling of myself that comes with it.
This blog enables me to finally follow my dreams. With a combination of writing, photography, travelling and video making, there literally isn't anything I'm more suited to. Plus, I've never been very good at following anyone else's instructions so it's great that here, on this blog, it's all pure me.